CW 41: Loneliness
"Sometimes being surrounded by everyone is the loneliest, because you'll realise you have no one to turn to."― Soraya
Disclaimer: Previous weekly obsessions have had a rather happy tone. This week is a bit more serious. So in case you are in a bad mindset right now, be kind to yourself and read this at another time.
I was actually looking forward to a more quiet week, after the prior rather eventful week. I didn't have much planned other than attending online lectures (which by the way were not at all what I expected). So besides complaining about the inability of my university to have professors with proper English and lecturing skills, I enjoyed some time on my own, which sometimes can be very relaxing and gives me time to reflect on life, thoughts and previous events.
About midway through the week, things got emotional though. I was absorbed in thoughts and it didn't let me go. In a way that I started listening to mostly sad or sentimental songs. As active COVID-cases are increasing everywhere, I tried to stay at home as much as possible, just to avoid unnecessary exposure. So basically I just replayed songs that make you look super dramatic when you pump up the volume and stare out the window while pretending to be sad. And thanks to YouTube's recommendation algorithm, I landed in a loophole of sad songs, which included (i guess if this was BuzzFeed entry it would have had the title "10 songs to get you in a sad mood"):
- Consequences - Camila Cabello
- First Man (at the 62nd Grammys) - Camila Cabello
- A Thousand Years - Christina Perri
- To Build a Home - The Cinematic Orchestra
- Half a Man - Dean Lewis
- Don't Say You Love Me - Fifth Harmony
- No Way - Fifth Harmony
- Wrong Direction - Hailee Steinfeld
- Sorry - Halsey
- Visions of Guideon - Sufjan Stevens
You can still see the Fifth Harmony, Camila Cabello, Lauren Jauregui influence in this list, but they still haven't left me yet.
Simultaneously, I found myself trying to play those songs on my piano and ended up figuring out the perfect combination of chords for a generic, dramatic love song (which would be a combination of mainly Em, D and C with some Am and G added every now and then to spice it up). I tried my skills as a songwriter, which was real fun actually, who knows if I ever complete a song, I could sell it to someone and become rich. Too delusional? Maybe. Anyways, making up songs and listening to these songs was incredibly cathartic and let me reflect and think a lot. I am still not in the happiest of moods, but it'll probably change as soon as uni kicks me in the guts and I'll be stressed as hell again. I probably won't have time for any other mood than stressed, so: jey for student life.
But jokes aside: coincidentally this week (on October 10th) there was also the #WorldMentalHealthDay and I think it's important to be open about mental health as it affects everyone. Sometimes it might not be first hand, but someone in your surroundings might be affected by any sort of mental problem, whether it is something diagnosed or anxiety, stress, depression. In such a fast-paced world, where people and things get cancelled all the time, anxiety and depression have become way too common, and we rarely take the time to reflect, think and breath. Especially in a time of isolation, where people can't see their loved ones as often, let loose by going out, meet new people or book a spontaneous trip somewhere, it's even more important to care and watch out for each other. Think about when you genuinely - not as a polite gesture to start a conversation - asked someone how they are... long time ago? change it! just recently? pass it on! One might not always have the best answers or solutions but sometimes having someone to talk to is all one needs.
... a better world starts by spreading empathy