CW 49: Motivation

"He who every morning plans the transactions of that day and follows that plan carries a thread that will guide him through the labyrinth of the most busy life."- Victor Hugo

Disclaimer: Late Night Entry (meaning there might be more grammar mistakes than usual) 

I didn't have much on my mind that I am willing to share this week. One recurring thought though was "motivation". I felt a lack of motivation throughout the whole week. It wasn't really consistent but I wasn't as motivated as I could have been so I was thinking about what motivates me in life and what I could do that would bring me back on track.

Now, the one thing that never fails to motivate me is to see people win awards, specifically Oscars. Emmys, Golden Globes, SAGs and so on work as well. The single thought of ever winning an Oscar brings me so much joy and hope in my life and seeing someone achieve my ultimate goal in life just makes me smile. I spent a large portion of my "wild" friday night watching people win Oscars. Among my favorites so far are Olivia Colman, Eddie Redmayne, Lupita Nyong'o, Graham Moore, Sandra Bullock and Hildur Guðnadóttir just to name a few. From the moment the presenter says "And the Oscar goes to" to the winner getting up and the amazing orchestra playing the score from the respective movie until they get up to the stage and finally hold that little naked golden man in their hands (yes I'm aware it sounds odd) and giving a speech that speaks to me on such a deep level. Every single one of these speeches (some more, some less) cause the same reaction in me which is me smiling like an idiot for a person I don't even know but what they have just achieved is such an honor and my biggest dream that I just can't help myself to be happy for them and in some cases even shed a tear. So when I feel down or extremely demotivated I just fall into a loophole of watching people win awards for their achievement in film and tv.

This got me thinking though. Now this might get a bit philosophical so you have been warned, but bare with me I think these are interesting thoughts and I think it is good to keep track of these questions for one self. What is it that motivates us? What is the fire that burns within us and keeps us going? Is it our goal in life? Is it the people we love? Is it something extremely random that just makes us happy, even if there is no reason? Can we force motivation? What do we do when there is no way to motivate ourselves and there is really nothing that can cheer us up in any way? What if we are so deep within our doubts and fears that nothing can motivate us? Where would this lead to? What happens when the fire burns out?

I know what my answers to these questions are. I define a goal, an orientation, a temporary sense in life. Whatever it might be. In a bigger picture my goal is to win an Oscar, making me orientate myself towards the movie industry and trying to navigate my life into that direction. Now, I think finding a life goal or direction one wants to head in is easier than finding motivation to do everyday things.

Finding motivation on a daily basis is exhausting. It starts by getting out of bed. Especially in times like these, where a daily schedule - at least for me as a student and working from home - is basically non-existent. I can skip lectures, because they are recorded anyways so if I miss them it's no big deal. I'm only seeing my friends online and only work from home so being late is basically impossible. Without these obstacles we would face every day in a non-pandemic world it is super easy to just stick around in bed for half an hour more, There won't be any consequences. So how do we find motivation to still stick to somewhat of a schedule so we don't fully lose control of who we are? I for one, am really struggling to be productive and keep a schedule in these times. I used to have so much to do in a day that I had no choice but to be effective and productive in every free minute I would find. However now, it's all just a mess of free time and "I should be doing something right now". For me, this rhythm (if you can call it that) just leads to procrastination and that again leads to frustration and the worst part, is to spend a whole day doing nothing and just regretting everything at the end of the day.

I guess there is no answer to this. So basically the only solution is to kick yourself in the butt and find something that makes your day valuable. That might be catching up with a friend, going for a walk, fixing those frames you bought months ago, doing laundry, washing your hair. The way I see it, the most important thing about making your day count, is to do something that makes today different from yesterday. I believe motivation has a lot to do with excitement and doing the same things everyday without being proud of it, is just gonna fill our lives with boredom which again leads to demotivation. So obviously no one is going to hustle to get back to boredom, meaning we procrastinate (ironically this leads to more boredom because we do the same things every day to procrastinate - watch tv, check social media, and so on) so we get back to procrastination, which makes easy things hard and hard things harder because

...procrastination is opportunity's natural assassin.